CHARLIE CONDOU - No.279

REFUND OR EXCHANGE

Charliecondou: RT @canalstmancs: We have been asked to post..Royal Exchange Theatre Important Information! Unfortunately due to cast illness,... http://t.co/te812ktX

LOTHARIO

 

Charliecondou: I tell you what, he may be in his 70's but I've seen Bill Roache turn on the charm. The man still has it ladies

 

ZX159: @Charliecondou *cough* sex addiction is neither charm nor allure ... it's a narrow focus of conquest, it's dissociative, essentially nasty!

 

AnnieRich75: @Charliecondou 'Fess up, Charlie - what number were you? By my calculations, I was 937. #kensstillgotit #cockroache

 

Charliecondou: @AnnieRich75 oh, millions by now!

 

AnnieRich75: @Charliecondou No, I meant whereabouts in Bill/Ken's list did you come? All those hours in the green room, you must have been tempted!

 

Charliecondou: @AnnieRich75 I've tried many times. But alas, he's simply not interested

 

AnnieRich75: @Charliecondou He's a heartbreaker, alright. But never give up - "Paralyse resistance with persistence," as Ken Barlow himself might say.

 

shebahronay: @Charliecondou nah. You're more my cup of tea.

 

Charliecondou: @shebahronay well obviously

IT’S ALL IN YOUR JEANS

   

Charliecondou: I'm not entirely sure I can pull off the tight skinny jean thing. I'm no Russell Brand. Mind you, I'm not sure he pulls it off either

 

TracyAnnO: @Charliecondou YOu pull it off better than him.. and you've had 2 kids!

   

Charliecondou: @TracyAnnO I just CAN'T lose those last couple of pounds!!

 

shobnagulati: @Charliecondou I think he pulls it iut

 

shobnagulati: @Charliecondou  out

   

Charliecondou: @shobnagulati you're pissed again aren't you?

 

BenSummerskill: @Charliecondou Spooky! Your third sentence went through my head as I read your second!

   

Charliecondou: @BenSummerskill he seems to make a career out of it though

 

johnmason85: @Charliecondou I'm having a very similar dilemma today myself. A whole lot of package on show. Ha

Charliecondou: @johnmason85 I know. There's a fine line between sexy and obscene

 

DerekInTorre: @Charliecondou you stick with grey sweats x

    

Charliecondou: @DerekInTorre lol

SPAS ARE WE

Charliecondou: @Dylandesouza I've just booked in for a massage at your place! X
 

Dylandesouza: @Charliecondou great Charlie.. I'll be there to say hi x

Charliecondou: A child-free/work-free day so I've just booked a massage at @NickelSpaLondon Best place in London

I’D LIKE TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING IN PERFECT … UNISON

  

Charliecondou: You know what I really hate? People who always harmonise when you're singing a song. Especially during "Happy Birthday"

 

rebeccacallard: @Charliecondou then you hate me. My favourite is on the happy birthday song. x

Charliecondou: @rebeccacallard *unfriends*

 

amandaabbington: @rebeccacallard @Charliecondou Oh I do the birthday song. But EVERYBODY does the birthday song. Right?

  

Charliecondou: @amandaabbington show- offy wankers

 

amandaabbington: @Charliecondou That's what I meant.

  

Charliecondou: @amandaabbington @rebeccacallard  Wow. That was the fastest back-track ever!

 

rebeccacallard: @Charliecondou I wrote that about happy birthday at the same time as you. I revel in the "TO YOUUUUU" at the end. Hate it up. x

  

Charliecondou: @amandaabbington @rebeccacallard  I wish Daisy Haggard was on twitter. She would know

 

amandaabbington: @Charliecondou @rebeccacallard She harmonises like a bastard. Even when you aren't singing.

  

decath10n: @Charliecondou haha, we move in SUCH different circles Charlie.

Charliecondou: @decath10n can your friends not sing?

 

Wendy_Wason: @Charliecondou oh bless you. You practising? X

  

Charliecondou: @Wendy_Wason you'll be lucking to get a fucking smile from me

 

Wendy_Wason: @Charliecondou well can you send Gino de Campo instead? He seems nice.

  

Charliecondou: @Wendy_Wason hahaha

 

kazpoole: @Charliecondou you grump ..that's me all the way...always the higher one.... If I had two voices I'd do the lower third too

  

Charliecondou: @kazpoole that's because you're a show off kaz

 

kazpoole: @Charliecondou your just jealous you can't do it

  

Charliecondou: @kazpoole well, OBVIOUSLY

 

salisburytart: @rebeccacallard @Charliecondou harmonising Happy Birthday is cool, and you know it.

  

Charliecondou: @salisburytart @rebeccacallard NOT IF YOU CAN'T DO HARMONYS!!

 

Get_funkd: @Charliecondou why?? Makes it sound good!

  

Charliecondou: @Get_funkd wow, you have the longest surname ever!

 

Get_funkd: @Charliecondou yes, yes I do! I feel like I should come up with some innuendo now...

 

Pmetanoia100: @Charliecondou is that only cos u can't do it ???

  

Charliecondou: @Pmetanoia100 yes

 

decath10n: @Charliecondou 1. No. 2. I'm not sure they would if they could. 3. No. 4. Good Morning. 5. No.

  

Charliecondou: @decath10n even my daughter does it. She's 2. #middleclassdrama

decath10n: @Charliecondou THIS: http://t.co/MZPuL451

Tom_In_Oz_: @Charliecondou I've mentioned this fact before - us men with big penises are tone deaf because the extra weight pulls on our vocal chords!

 

RealSharHorgan: @Charliecondou I just harmonised with the end of that tweet.

exitthelemming: @Charliecondou oops...

Charliecondou: @exitthelemming I might have known

 

exitthelemming: @Charliecondou I thought I was helping...

Charliecondou: Thats me! The mother!! RT @decath10n: @Charliecondou THIS: http://t.co/ULg22eJF

 

rob_fitzpatrick: @Charliecondou you should hear me on Twinkle Twinkle - spectral harmonics a-go-go.

 

Charliecondou: @rob_fitzpatrick haha
 
salisburytart: @RealSharHorgan @Charliecondou @rebeccacallard you see? Harmonising is coooooooooo ooooooool

Charliecondou: @salisburytart @RealSharHorgan it seems (from my twitter responses) to be a mainly female thing. Females and Sam West @exitthelemming

MatthewCainC4: @Charliecondou Oh me too! It drives me mad!!

 

JOJEHARVEY: @MatthewCainC4 @charliecondou me too, three notes higher, hand to ear.

 

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @MatthewCainC4 they are show offs and I have no time for them

ClareMariscal: @Charliecondou Have you been living with Catherine for too long?!??

Charliecondou: @ClareMariscal yes. For so many reasons. How's Yaygo?

ClareMariscal: @Charliecondou 80% adorable, 20% sullen and prone to outbursts. It better be a phase else I want my money back.
 NICE TO SEE YOU – NOT!

 

ferrifrump: Mornin! In foggy sth London . Quite a pea souper.

  

Charliecondou: @ferrifrump isn't it just?

Looking for a lunch on Compton Street

MrAlexFoden: “@lancehayley: Editing @MrAlexFoden's shots... He does have a pretty dam sexy ass!!” THEYRE MEANT TO BE HEADSHOTS LANCE!!!!

Charliecondou: @MrAlexFoden that was you on old Compton street earlier right?

MrMattLister: @MrAlexFoden @charliecondou should of come for Birthday lunch!

MrAlexFoden: @Charliecondou OMG yeah it was! Why didn't you say hello?!!! X

Charliecondou: @MrAlexFoden I did. You were on the phone
HUGE

 

DoctorChristian: WANT COMPANY? ;-) RT @Cath_Tyldesley: In bed with trackies and hoody on, heating on and hot water bottle. I think I feel the cold.

 

Charliecondou: @DoctorChristian @Cath_Tyldesley room for a little one??

 

Cath_Tyldesley: @Charliecondou @DoctorChristian come on then Charles. *she sets out his little Onsie and lifts the duvet*

Charliecondou: @Cath_Tyldesley @DoctorChristian *squeezes in the middle. Farts, then holds down duvet*

DoctorChristian: @Charliecondou @Cath_Tyldesley I'm huge, haven't you heard the rumours?! Lol

Charliecondou: @DoctorChristian @Cath_Tyldesley I think I read something about that on a toilet wall
HEAD

 

PaulPopplewell: Tape measure at the ready... I'm just going to measure my head and then I can relax.

 

Charliecondou: @PaulPopplewell "head"

 

PaulPopplewell: @Charliecondou head

 

PaulPopplewell: @Charliecondou it measures "oh that Feels good"

SELINA’S OPENING

 

Charliecondou: Please let Shelina open a restaurant soon

 

marcooth: @Charliecondou She's the new Rustie Lee.

 

Charliecondou: @marcooth oh mark