OZZIEBEAR IN EUROPE
ANOTHER STORY
FROM
THE
FLUFFY FAMOUS FIVE SERIES
© Tom in Oz 2012
'HOW TO GET BEAR DOWN UNDER'
In Kehl, a rural German town on the opposite side of the planet to Australia, awaits a very patient little fluffle. His name is Ozziebear. Ozzie is in Kehl with a nice man called Tommy Markstahler and some other furry German friends and this is his story, so far...
Over a year ago, Oz backpacked his way to England to see the 2012 Olympics and while he was in London, Oz went to see some guy he'd read about in a tourist bible called King Harrod - to see if he could get return tickets home - but King Harrod was not very helpful at all. He was all flash and no substance!
Ozzie was out of money so next he tried to make an appointment to see some other rich regal man who sat on a golden throne but there were numerous barriers and he couldn't get close enough to ask for help and besides he was more stony silent than King Harrod!
Oz was broke and down on his luck but one day while busking in the streets near Barkston Gardens (doing a rendition of "The Bare Necessities"), he was spotted by a German tourist called Tommy. Tom said he could smuggle Oz across the border to Germany free of charge and then help him with passage back home.
So Oz, being the trusting little bear that he was said, "Sure take me with you!"
In the blink of an eye, Oz was smuggled aboard the Eurostar, through France and into Kehl Germany awaiting his departure to his homeland.
But things didn't go smoothly for Oz. While he was in Kehl he got sick with a serious strain of bear flu. Sadly for Ozzie, "Dr Google" wasn't much help and it seemed like it was one set back after another.
When Oz was feeling a bit better Tommy tried to wrap Oz in a parcel and smuggle him through the Deutsche Bundespost but because customs didn't like the paperwork Ozzie was returned to Kehl. Can you imagaine the frustration and disappointment of being opened out of a parcel only to discover you were back where you started?
Ozziebear was totes dejected!
So, to distract sad little Ozzie, Tommy decided to take him on a trip to Lake Constance near the Swiss border while they waited for another opportunity to smuggle Ozzie out!
Firstly, Tom took Ozzie to a German vineyard but Tom had not realised just how much affinity Ozzie had with grapes. In fact, back home Ozzie had earned some money for his trip to London by cutting and picking vines in a local vineyard!
Tom had only taken his eyes off Ozzie for a second...then, couldn't spot him for looking. Eventually, Tom found a slightly tipsy Ozzie hanging out with a bad bunch of locals!
Next day, when Oz was a little more sober, Tom took Oz on a walk through the German town of Meersburg. It didn't take long before Ozzie got puffed and pooped, so Tom did a fence-sitting tour of the township. Poor Ozzie was not used to sitting on rough hewn sandstone and it hurt his little bear bum.
As part of the tour, Tommy took Oz to the old fortress of Meersburg which sat high on a hill overlooking the district.
"I like it here," exclaimed Ozzie!
"It has a much nicer fence than the previous one," he sighed.
To top off the day, Ozzie and Tommy had an afternoon cruise on Lake Constance. Tom was an avid cruiser and could often be seen cruising in his local area!
Little did Tom and Ozzie realize that the German authorities were keeping a vigilant watch on Ozzie - now that his name was known to Interpol - for, high above Lake Constance in a surveillance zeppelin...was...the evil...
*drum roll*
Dr. Moonglow and his voluptuous able-bodied assistant, Miss Snoozie - the local border authorities and customs officers!
"Mwahahahahaha!"
Will Ozzie ever make it home???
Over a year ago, Oz backpacked his way to England to see the 2012 Olympics and while he was in London, Oz went to see some guy he'd read about in a tourist bible called King Harrod - to see if he could get return tickets home - but King Harrod was not very helpful at all. He was all flash and no substance!
Ozzie was out of money so next he tried to make an appointment to see some other rich regal man who sat on a golden throne but there were numerous barriers and he couldn't get close enough to ask for help and besides he was more stony silent than King Harrod!
Oz was broke and down on his luck but one day while busking in the streets near Barkston Gardens (doing a rendition of "The Bare Necessities"), he was spotted by a German tourist called Tommy. Tom said he could smuggle Oz across the border to Germany free of charge and then help him with passage back home.
So Oz, being the trusting little bear that he was said, "Sure take me with you!"
In the blink of an eye, Oz was smuggled aboard the Eurostar, through France and into Kehl Germany awaiting his departure to his homeland.
But things didn't go smoothly for Oz. While he was in Kehl he got sick with a serious strain of bear flu. Sadly for Ozzie, "Dr Google" wasn't much help and it seemed like it was one set back after another.
When Oz was feeling a bit better Tommy tried to wrap Oz in a parcel and smuggle him through the Deutsche Bundespost but because customs didn't like the paperwork Ozzie was returned to Kehl. Can you imagaine the frustration and disappointment of being opened out of a parcel only to discover you were back where you started?
Ozziebear was totes dejected!
So, to distract sad little Ozzie, Tommy decided to take him on a trip to Lake Constance near the Swiss border while they waited for another opportunity to smuggle Ozzie out!
Firstly, Tom took Ozzie to a German vineyard but Tom had not realised just how much affinity Ozzie had with grapes. In fact, back home Ozzie had earned some money for his trip to London by cutting and picking vines in a local vineyard!
Tom had only taken his eyes off Ozzie for a second...then, couldn't spot him for looking. Eventually, Tom found a slightly tipsy Ozzie hanging out with a bad bunch of locals!
Next day, when Oz was a little more sober, Tom took Oz on a walk through the German town of Meersburg. It didn't take long before Ozzie got puffed and pooped, so Tom did a fence-sitting tour of the township. Poor Ozzie was not used to sitting on rough hewn sandstone and it hurt his little bear bum.
As part of the tour, Tommy took Oz to the old fortress of Meersburg which sat high on a hill overlooking the district.
"I like it here," exclaimed Ozzie!
"It has a much nicer fence than the previous one," he sighed.
To top off the day, Ozzie and Tommy had an afternoon cruise on Lake Constance. Tom was an avid cruiser and could often be seen cruising in his local area!
Little did Tom and Ozzie realize that the German authorities were keeping a vigilant watch on Ozzie - now that his name was known to Interpol - for, high above Lake Constance in a surveillance zeppelin...was...the evil...
*drum roll*
Dr. Moonglow and his voluptuous able-bodied assistant, Miss Snoozie - the local border authorities and customs officers!
"Mwahahahahaha!"
Will Ozzie ever make it home???
TO BE CONTINUED...
Above and below: Another set of rare and unreleased publicity pictures of Charlie Condou, on outside location filming for an episode of Coronation Street, July 9th 2008. His backpack is an optional extra with the ensemble.
CHANCE MEETING
mike_gartside: So i just spotted @Charliecondou in town. LOVING LIFE. He may even have looked at me lol. #weirdo
Charliecondou: @mike_gartside I may have done, where were you?
mike_gartside: @Charliecondou coming down the steps from m&s, with a red hat on and a big bag.
Charliecondou: @mike_gartside ah yes, hello
mike_gartside: @Charliecondou hello :) I probably sound like a right weirdo but you've really made my day, massive fan !
Charliecondou: @mike_gartside say hello next time!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
wozjo: @Charliecondou I'm 37 today…boyfriend has challenged me to get 37 celeb b'day tweets by 12pm?fancy helping me get there? :) xx
Charliecondou: @wozjo happy birthday x
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