CHARLIE CONDOU - No.186

BLOW UP THE T.V.

HylandIan: Right, Peter Andre's up next on #lifestories. How long will it take him to mention the kids? Your guesses please, in mins and secs.

Charliecondou: @HylandIan I give him 3 mins before he tells us he DOESN'T have "an acorn"

Charliecondou: RT @JOJEHARVEY: Piers Morgan and Peter Andre. How fabulous. *switches TV off*

jameswharton: What on earth am I going to watch now??

JOJEHARVEY: @jameswharton come over mine berbs, I've got loads of DVDs. xx

jameswharton: @JOJEHARVEY I wish I could!!! What you watching berbs?

JOJEHARVEY: @jameswharton The Help or Gnomeo And Juliet. Or Submarine.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton Submarine. The other two are shit

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @jameswharton Charlie have you seen Project Nim? Saw it last night. Amaaaze x

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton No! What ist?

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @jameswharton got it in the Bafta films. Doc about a chimp brought up with a family in the 70s. Just stunning.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton oooh. I like monkey films! I'll watch it

JOJEHARVEY: @jameswharton @charliecondou it lasts eight years.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton Oh. I'm not sure I have that long to watch it

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @jameswharton nah 7 years lasts 8 years. Was a joke. I believe.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton oh. Hilarious. You should write comedy

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @jameswharton Should I? Should I give it a go? Maybe I could use this exchange for a scene in Corrie?

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @jameswharton Amazing! You should get all future scenes from Twitter. Think how much time you'd save

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @jameswharton Berbs, how d'you think I wrote my last three scripts?

fountain1987: Need all your positive thoughts and prayers for@groovigranny1 please xx

Charliecondou: @fountain1987 @groovigranny1 mine too mate, hope you're ok x

brianfruity: @Charliecondou Happy with the final 2 on X-Factor?

Charliecondou: @brianfruity I love Little Mix!

2 0 1 3 - A CORRIE ODYSSEY

tomellis17: Just experienced the most incredible piece of interactive theatre...you me bum bum train...can't tell you what happens but my god it's good

Charliecondou: @tomellis17 Im doing that next week! Whats it like??

tomellis17: @Charliecondou a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!! Go with an open mind and an immersive attitude. That is all I will say. Let me know how you got on txx

Charliecondou: THE best Christmas song EVER! Make it Xmas No 1 @palomafaith It's Christmas (And I Hate You) - itunes.apple.com/gb/album/its-c… #iTunes

Charliecondou: This weeks column http://t.co/QlQJepJ6 @guardianfamily

Charliecondou: RT @luciecave: V proud of my friends new venture. Anyone with kiddies to buy for check this amazing website out. So cute and lovely. http://t.co/H8UJikzw

patrick_mcd: @Charliecondou @guardianfamily thanks! citing your column in my family law case study for the final year of my law degree!

Charliecondou: @patrick_mcd @guardianfamily Nice one!

AndrewLancel: @NatalieGumede how was last night? i only stayed a bit

NatalieGumede: @AndrewLancel I didn't stay much longer. Continued the same. Band was good. I left with dignity in tact. I think ;) x

JOJEHARVEY: @NatalieGumede @AndrewLancel Dignity by Natalie Gumede, your signature scent x

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @NatalieGumede @AndrewLancel I like it. What would my scent be called?

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @NatalieGumede @AndrewLancel Fertility by Charlie Condou. #itsgotspunk

NatalieGumede: @JOJEHARVEY @charliecondou @andrewlancel ooh nice! I'd like to see the advert for that. Can I be in it? X

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @NatalieGumede @AndrewLancel perfect!You know @Alancumming had a range of products called "Cumming".I still have the bubblebath

NatalieGumede: @tgoodmanh @charliecondou @jojeharvey @andrewlancel @alancumming and Charlie has Cumming in the bath? Classy ;) x

JOJEHARVEY: @tgoodmanh @Charliecondou @NatalieGumede @AndrewLancel @Alancumming I have the anal wash, but can' remember what it's called... #cumming

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @NatalieGumede @tgoodmanh @andrewlancel @alancumming and the dispenser's a lovely shape.

Charliecondou: @NatalieGumede @tgoodmanh @jojeharvey @andrewlancel @alancumming the body lotion had a lovely consistency

AndrewLancel: @JOJEHARVEY @charliecondou @nataliegumede MARCUS by Charlie Condou. I see a set The Scents of The Street. Too late for this Christmas?

Sikozoo: @Charliecondou Love your column in the Guardian! How long is it going to run post birth?

Charliecondou: @Sikozoo no idea!! A while I think

nicstep: @Charliecondou Loved your collumn as usual. Not long now!!!

Charliecondou: @nicstep cheers baby! You ok?

Charliecondou: I can't stay long, I'm dueting with Little Mix this evening

Del_Von_Boy: @Charliecondou. Same here. What song have you chosen?

Charliecondou: @Del_Von_Boy An En Vogue/One Direction mash-up. Its going to be IMMENSE!

shebahronay: @Charliecondou finally!

Charliecondou: @shebahronay I know right?

streetworker01: @furquan Ah. I live in something akin to Frasier' apartment. Though according to @Charliecondou I'm actually Niles.

Charliecondou: @streetworker01 @furquan I said that??

streetworker01: @Charliecondou @furquan Ages ago. Though I love Niles, so I was pleased. And I do wipe seats and cutlery in public places... x

Charliecondou: @streetworker01 @furquan And you have the same hair

streetworker01: @Charliecondou @furquan But he doesn't have much hair...

ryanjamesthomas: @streetworker01 hi didn't no u were on here x

streetworker01: @ryanjamesthomas I keep it quiet though 'cos @Charliecondou stalks me. x

Charliecondou: @streetworker01 @ryanjamesthomas I dont know either of you

Charliecondou: @MrCraigKelly Is this the real you?

MrCraigKelly: @Charliecondou Yes..x

Charliecondou: @MrCraigKelly Well its hard to tell. A lot of fake profiles on here

MrCraigKelly: @Charliecondou Really?! I'm new to this so I don't know yet. x

JOJEHARVEY: @MrCraigKelly @Charliecondou Yes, I'm actually Petula Clark.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY I knew that, thats why I follow you. I wouldnt follow Jonathan Harvey. He's gay

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou he's not, it's a career move. #lovesminge

Charliecondou: @Nicole_Appleton Happy Birthday! xxx

VIPEYE: Congrats to @Charliecondou on signing a new contact - keeping him on the cobbles till at least 2012

Charliecondou: @VIPEYE 2013!!