CHARLIE CONDOU - No.558

YOU NEVER STOP WORRYING 
WHEN YOU HAVE PARENTS

Charliecondou: My dad's babysitting tonight as I'm travelling back from Manchester. I've texted to see if all is ok. He's not replied #asleep #pissed

amanda_jen: @Charliecondou Hilarious my dad always has a tipple at mine as my @SubZeroWolfUK wine fridge is to much of a temptation x

Charliecondou: @amanda_jen ooooh, get you!

THOSE KIND OF VIDEOS!

Charliecondou: Been watching videos on @realsamia's phone today. They're very different to the ones on @ryanjamesthomas's

Gatz77: @Charliecondou I bet she's into some freaky stuff. Has that look about her! Butter wouldn't melt! @realsamia @ryanjamesthomas

realsamia: “@Charliecondou: Been watching videos on @realsamia's phone today. They're very different to the ones on @ryanjamesthomas's” ssshhh secret!x

streetworker01: @realsamia @charliecondou @ryanjamesthomas Would I like the ones on Ryan's. x

realsamia: @streetworker01 @charliecondou @ryanjamesthomas errrrmm I haven't had the pleasure of seeing them but I'm guessing not! ;)

streetworker01: @realsamia @charliecondou @ryanjamesthomas Bet yours are lovely! Mind you, have you seen Charlie's...? x

Charliecondou: @realsamia @streetworker01 @ryanjamesthomas I'm guessing yes!

streetworker01: @Charliecondou @realsamia @ryanjamesthomas You know me too well! x

NAME DROPPING AND STEALING

JOJEHARVEY: (I'm channeling Cilla Black tonight, incidentally)

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY Cilla? I assumed it was Tameka

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou actually it's you.

Charliecondou: @jojeharvey yes, but I pronounce it like this


JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou That is fucking brilliant! I am pissing myself. Have to steal!

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY I KNEW you'd like it! I like to call @ShobnaGulati Sha Nay-Nay now

NatalieGumede: @Charliecondou @jojeharvey I've just choked on my third mince pie of the day I laughed so hard!

Charliecondou: @NatalieGumede I'm going to rename you Gumedriana and j'nay-nay respectively

NatalieGumede: @Charliecondou as long as you do the head roll, I'll take it!

Charliecondou: @NatalieGumede doing it as we speak. *snaps fingers in front of face*

JackPShepherd88: @Charliecondou I just stole that video. Thanks!

Charliecondou: @JackPShepherd88 it's alright, @JOJEHARVEY stole it too

Charliecondou: Just brilliant http://t.co/ZyO8zv0w

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou can you stop stealing my links please? It's getting embarrassing and comes across a bit stalkery. Thanks.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY I want you and @LeeAnderson1971 to record your own version

JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou @LeeAnderson1971 I've just posted it on her FB wall.

Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY @LeeAnderson1971 she'll die! #guuuuuuuuurl

jackjpridmore: @Charliecondou Do you think this was their reaction after it got famous?


Charliecondou: Haha @jackjpridmore

jackjpridmore: @Charliecondou P.S If you ever see Chris Morris (if he ever leaves his house) tell him I love him. Immensely.

Charliecondou: @jackjpridmore indeed I will

TAKING THE P

Charliecondou: RT @JackPShepherd88: Yes my body is that scrawny ..........#Enjoy

tomstick: @JackPShepherd88 now I know what the p stands for. Jack Pecs Shepherd

Charliecondou: @tomstick @JackPShepherd88 it actually stands for Prick

mum

theteamaker: My mum just phoned me to tell me that she loves me and is proud of me. #totesemosh oh and to tell me its 13more sleeps until I'm home #lucky

Charliecondou: @theteamaker I love you Laura, and I'm proud of you too

theteamaker: @Charliecondou Charlie coming from you (man of the year) that means so much more! #totesemosh

Charliecondou: @theteamaker oh Laura, you KNOW I don't like to mention that #manoftheyear #reallyimportant #ego

OUT SAUCED

tomgormer: (love carla conner)

scouserachel: @tomgormer it's good to have her back

IncrediblyRich: @scouserachel @tomgormer She needs a drink in her. Pronto.

scouserachel: @IncrediblyRich GIVE HER TIME

Charliecondou: @scouserachel @IncrediblyRich no-one downs a litre of claret like Carla Conner

scouserachel: @Charliecondou @IncrediblyRich carla-bot needs refuelling regularly.

IncrediblyRich: @Charliecondou @scouserachel SHE'S ON THE SAUCE! Yay!

EXCITEMENT +

Charliecondou: Completely over excited! RT @iamangelhaze: The New York ep drops tomorrow.

NOT SO SECRET SANTA

Charliecondou: Buying a secret Santa for £5 for someone who's VERY high maintenance is really hard. (it's @NatalieGumede but don't tell her)

Gatz77: @Charliecondou @nataliegumede it'd wanna be good or that gurrrrl gonna cut ya!

murton: @Charliecondou @nataliegumede - cheap Hoover attachment?

Charliecondou: @murton @nataliegumede hahahaha

Charliecondou: It's alright, I know what to get her. You can always trust @alanhalsall to be helpful and never steer you wrong

alanhalsall: @Charliecondou *evil laugh*

Charliecondou: @alanhalsall your face when I didn't believe you was class. Thinking "shit, this is what happens when you're known as the cast piss-taker"

ladyfelula: @Charliecondou @NatalieGumede I bought some very nice candy nipple tassels for mine. 5 quid Ann Summers

Charliecondou: @ladyfelula @NatalieGumede she already has some

Charliecondou: Got a really good secret Santa pressie for dinner tomorrow though @DrSarahParish @Amanda_Holden @Angela_Griffin @lisafaulkner1

SO EMBARRASSED RIGHT NOW

EmmaDJlouiseno1: when you dream about @Charliecondou and you find your mate dreamt about him to!! #populardreamguy!!

Charliecondou: @EmmaDJlouiseno1 hope it wasn't a nightmare

EmmaDJlouiseno1: @Charliecondou erm....*blushes* not quite xx

Charliecondou: @EmmaDJlouiseno1 haha then I hope I was good

EmmaDJlouiseno1: @Charliecondou no complaints from me!! infact am hoping for round 2 lol xx #soembarrassedrightnow

Confidential_CC: @EmmaDJlouiseno1 about 9,000 ppl read the @Charliecondou blog each day so by the end of the week 60,000 ppl will know you have ‘those’ dreams!

EmmaDJlouiseno1: @Confidential_CC @Charliecondou OMG! really?? so,so embarrassed now lol xx

SO GAY

Charliecondou: RT @SoSoGay: We want YOUR VOTES for The 2012 So So Gay Awards! http://t.co/iPO5YA8W #SSGAwards

Fredstar85: Hearing grown men say "you're so gay" as banter makes me so angry. One day I'm gonna say "you're so Black/Jewish/Asian" and see what happens

Charliecondou: @Fredstar85 I hear you sister.

Charliecondou: RT @Fredstar85: Hearing grown men say "you're so gay" as banter makes me so angry. One day I'm gonna say "you're so Black/Jewish/Asian" and see what happens

Fredstar85: @Charliecondou thanks girlfriend

TATTLER

LalHardy: Tattooed Hotspurs #coys #spurs #Tottenham #1882thfc 

Charliecondou: @LalHardy you did my tattoo for me over 20 years ago!

PILL POPPING

SamandCath: Who's is who's? 

Charliecondou: @SamandCath something tells me those aren't jelly beans 

SamandCath: @Charliecondou haha will bring some in wok for you #treats

DEAR NIGELLA

jillywallflower: @Nigella_Lawson hi there. Where do you get the chocolate buttons you use"

Nigella_Lawson: Hotel Chocolat

Charliecondou: @Nigella_Lawson how long should I brine my turkey for? I won't ever cook it without brining first now btw

lilyrosecooper: What is the technical term for those skid marks on the plate? And when did they become a thing ? #masterchef

Charliecondou: @lilyrosecooper I blame Quo Vadis, they started that bollocks with pea purée

FOR ONCE

Charliecondou: RT @lynnbaba: The prank seemed funny at the time. No one could have predicted how the nurse would react. Let's - for once - not blame anyone.

YES, IT WAS I

SteveAllott: @Charliecondou ha just this second gawped at you on cross street. Was it? Is it? Haha #suchafool

Charliecondou: @SteveAllott yep, it was me ;-)

SteveAllott: @Charliecondou ha thought so. Had my confused face on haha x

DRAWING THE LINE

Charliecondou: RT @JackPShepherd88: Just put @realsamia and @Charliecondou off in a scene when they found my art work in the salon appointment book....

A VOTE FOR CHARLIE CONDOU 

IS A VOTE FOR NICENESS!

*said in a Dame Edna voice* 

The So So Gay editors and writers have looked back at 2012 and drawn up a short list of nominations for several different categories. Over the next three weeks they want you to vote for your favourite in each category, then share with your friends on Facebook and Twitter, before they announce the results on Friday 28 December 2012.

Charlie is nominated in the “LGBT Hero” category.

The nominees are:

Charlie Condou , Elton John, Ben Summerskill, Dr Christian Jessen, Deborah Jack, Nikolai Aleseev, Peter Tatchell, Jay-Z and Ben Cohen.

Charlie Condou is up for an award if you would like to vote go HERE

Grab a 'mince' pie, or two, and get voting!

SOME OF THE FIRST TO VOTE WERE:

david_kirwan: @SirThomasWynn . . . Done

Brendan_Surrey: @Confidential_CC I just voted for @charliecondou in the So So Gay Awards. 2012. Noyce!

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS . . . 
REPEATS!

Charliecondou: RT @roboxley: The Mail have rolled out annual Christmas TV repeats story: http://t.co/THlDXk7I repeating the photo from 2009 version http://t.co/U1CdL9Dx

SirThomasWynn: @roboxley @CharlieCondou oh ye of little faith - this year the newspaper pic has a BBC copyright on it - see major diff

roboxley: @SirThomasWynn @Charliecondou how could I have missed that!

johnnybielby: @Charliecondou hi Charlie ask simon who Gestapo Lil is please ? He mentioned on a previous episode and it tickled me pink !!

Charliecondou: @johnnybielby he has no idea!

MORE CORRIE CAST ON TWITTER

Charliecondou: Oh look, it's Sylvia off of Corrie! @Stephdivacole

Confidential_CC: @Charliecondou @Stephdivacole the whole Corrie cast will be on Twitter soon surely there is an ITV prize/bonus for that?

McpThom: @Charliecondou  is it actually her? I couldn't imagine twitter being allowed in Japanese POW camps.

MiaCluer: @Charliecondou @stephdivacole ah Stephanie will always be Dr Beatrice Mason to me - Tenko set the bar for tv dramas for me as a teen

streetworker01: @Charliecondou @stephdivacole How wonderful!

AN AMERICAN IDIOT

merry_lucy: @Charliecondou Got some American idiot tweeting me about how wrong gay marriage is, sort her out for me will you? :-) #pipedownlove

Confidential_CC: Hey @NC__Princess and @SouthrnBlond guess what - most of Earth's animals have degrees of homosexuality but only humans have homophobia - wake up you lot! Sorry @merry_lucy that you feel alone in defending what most other well-educated people already know.

MARIA & MARCUS

loveskati: @Charliecondou Hope you are feeling better Charlie.Greetings from Vancouver, Canada. Love Marcus and Maria.

Charliecondou: @loveskati much better thanks x

Above: Wynn Manor Oz, the stockings are up for Christmas. Now we just need snow!

CHRISTMAS MEANS CONCERTS

On the previous Sunday night, Lady Wynn and I went to our 5 year old grandson's first dance recital, it was his dance teacher's end-of-year Christmas concert. The grandson worked hard for half a year to hone his hip-hop dance moves for a 3 minute contemporary item that we HAD to see otherwise he'd be bereft. We took the granddaughter to sit on our knees, she being just one and a half, we feared the worst!

The concert opened with 10 year old girls in sequin outfits that were skimpy and inappropriate for girls so young. Then, when the super trooper lights hit them in the eyes, all their moves were forgotten. Panic set in! During this opening act the majority of the girls on stage looked into the wings to watch their choreographer show them their moves. We realised that the girls had no idea what "connecting" with the audience was all about. They almost entirely faced the wings and copied their dance teacher. So what we saw was an act performing side-on. It was a mercifully short item and the thoughtful choreographer had at least bleeped out all the offending "f" swear words in the backing dance track sung by Pink.

The second item stumbled onto the blackened stage and as props were distributed, we noticed there was another moment of panic when half the kids froze, while some bounced into the routine with gusto, albeit, without actually keeping to the beat or staying in sync with the music and well before the lights were up. The second lot were about 14 years old and although they lacked any sense of rhythm they at least entertained us by crashing violently into each other at times.

The third item was a tiny-tot dance. Little rows of 4 year old kids in yellow tutus toddled on, smiled and then proceeded to pick their noses and wave to their mums. Not content with waving, one put her hands to her mouth and shouted megaphone-like for her mum to watch. The backing track was "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," so at least we could hum along and pretend that there was something actually happening on stage. Our granddaughter at this time was on my knee, clapping and singing along to the music, so all was not lost. Waiting for her big brother to be on stage was all she was concerned about!

Next, the grandson came on in his team of 8 tough street-wise 5 year old boys who all hailed from the tiny rural hamlet of Dungog, NSW. They looked like midget MC Hammers in balloon trousers that were fluro green. By the way the team danced, I was pretty sure their choreographer had died tragically some months before, as the item was pretty much a repeat of the opening act but when they forgot their moves there was nobody in the wings to show them what to do. The granddaughter recognised the grandson on stage and she inappropriately cheered for him in the quiet parts. The grandson was mortified!

Now, I won't bore you with all the gory details because dear reader, it got worse!

After 15 items the first part of the concert was over. By intermission the granddaughter had nodded off. It was our cunning ploy to take her for an excuse to leave, if the show wasn't particularly good. But we stuck it out to the end just so the grandson could wave at us in the finale.

As a newly practising grandpa, do you know what? I am pleased as punch that my grandson was up there having a go at something boys don't often try. I learnt to tap dance as a child, as did my son and daughter. I also did choreography all through my 35 year teaching service, having many dance teams that performed in NSW at school festivals, competitions and Rock Eisteddfods. Then, when my daughter became a school teacher she took over from her dad as a choreographer. Now our grandson and soon granddaughter, will be entering into the performing arts world. It's these moments when my chest swells with pride knowing I have a living legacy. I have passed on some genetics that one day may produce a world-class performer and if not world-class at least descendants that can appreciate dance and performing.

The parents and grandparents in the audience at the Christmas concert went away feeling exactly the same as me....all children are stars and have the right to shine!