CHARLIE CONDOU - No.409

KNOCK KNOCKING

Charliecondou: RT @francesbarber13: French knock knock ' frapp frapp ' qui est la ? ' losque ' Losque qui? 'zats why I'm frapping ...( you can now unsuivre)

BEN COEN, GARETH THOMAS 

AND ALAN HALSALL

LeeBinding: My friend @willhowells is doing stand-up. Normally I don't publicise stuff like this, but he genuinely makes me laugh til I snot.

Charliecondou: @LeeBinding @willhowells then I shall follow him because you make me snort with laughter, therefore I image he will too.

LeeBinding: @Charliecondou @willhowells Bless you, darling. Loving your work too. Especially when you got all flustered over Ben Cohen at Pride!

Charliecondou: @LeeBinding who wouldn't?? He's all big and hairy and smelled of sure for men

LeeBinding: @Charliecondou tell me about it. I'd reverse onto him like a hungry bin lorry.

Charliecondou: @LeeBinding haha you see? I'm snorting on the virgin express. This is not a euphemism

surreymanc: @LeeBinding @charliecondou @willhowells he put his arm round me for a pic at help for heroes rugby last year. I have still yet to recover

LeeBinding: @surreymanc @charliecondou @willhowells Or wash, I'd wager.

surreymanc: @LeeBinding @charliecondou @willhowells haha yeah

Charliecondou: @LeeBinding @surreymanc @willhowells I met Gareth Thomas at the same do. My wank bank has gone into overdrive

surreymanc: @Charliecondou @leebinding @willhowells he might be thinking that of you too!

willhowells: @Charliecondou @LeeBinding @surreymanc Loved him in Blake's 7.

Charliecondou: @willhowells @LeeBinding @surreymanc or those coffee ads

surreymanc: @Charliecondou @willhowells @leebinding it was the wrist action. *swoon*

willhowells: @Charliecondou @LeeBinding @surreymanc That was Cockney rhymer Gareth Hunt. But I'm only old enough to remember Tony Head. *shakes beans*

Usztan: @Charliecondou @leebinding This is entertaining/hot reading, chaps. Keep it up.

LeeBinding: @Charliecondou @surreymanc @willhowells Charlie's Wank Bank, earlier:


surreymanc: @LeeBinding @charliecondou @willhowells looks amazing

Charliecondou: @Usztan @leebinding do Gareth and Ben count as bears? I feel I may be moving into a new "type" phase

Usztan: @Charliecondou @leebinding Ben, yes. Very much so. Big, sweaty, hairy, handsome, twinkling Ben.

Charliecondou: @Usztan @leebinding I've never really been into Bears. Apart from @alanhalsall obviously

Usztan: @Charliecondou @leebinding @alanhalsall Mr Halsall has been called a bear icon. Rightly, frankly.

Charliecondou: @Usztan @leebinding I like your new profile pic Dan. Was it taken in the queue for SoP at Central Station?

LeeBinding: @Charliecondou @Usztan More 'queue for springbase tins in John Lewis'

Usztan: @Charliecondou @leebinding Yes, they're giving numbers out now like the Morrisons' cheese queue.

alanhalsall: @Charliecondou @usztan @leebinding OBVIOUSLY !!! Boom bear cub deal with it

Usztan: @alanhalsall: @Charliecondou @usztan @leebinding OMG

Charliecondou: @Usztan @alanhalsall @leebinding some people will do anything to get those gay club pa's

alanhalsall: @Charliecondou @usztan @leebinding pink pound buddy spends just the same xx

Charliecondou: @alanhalsall @usztan @leebinding I feel for mike leVell #shouldneverhaveshavedthetache

alanhalsall: @Charliecondou @usztan @leebinding just for you !!

Charliecondou: @alanhalsall @usztan @leebinding haha he's still got it

FANCY MEN

CHRISF0X: @Charliecondou Do you fancy men in real life

Charliecondou: @CHRISF0X yes, but not ALL men

CHRISF0X: @Charliecondou I fancy you a lot

Charliecondou: @CHRISF0X why thank you

OLYMPIC HIGHLIGHTS

djy12345: Highlight of weekend: small child reduced to screaming ball of tears by the sight of Olympic 'mascot' Wenlock #scarymofo

Charliecondou: @djy12345 when you say small child, you mean Larry right?

djy12345: @Charliecondou No, I would have said 'little lady' in that case

Charliecondou: @djy12345 you see that confuses me, because then I would have assumed you meant Caroline.

djy12345: @Charliecondou That would be 'pocket princess'

Charliecondou: @djy12345 That's definitely Larry

LEWD BEHAVIOUR

Charliecondou: Fred Willard was arrested for lewd behaviour in an adult cinema. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what adult cinemas are for?

Brendan_Surrey: @Charliecondou I think there are worse things that happen in cinemas given this week's events

brianfruity: @Charliecondou well I have to say I Never been to one so would not really know??? I will ask @shelleyanorphan ?

belindaofficial: @Charliecondou haha! i didn't know there were any adult theaters left! kudos to him - he's 73

Charliecondou: @belindaofficial I know right? He should be applauded. Give the guy a hand! ( I mean that metaphorically, not literally)

belindaofficial: @Charliecondou hahahahaha

TRAIN UPGRADE IS BIG BISCUITS

Charliecondou: I've upgraded to first class on the train. I'm now determined to drink £15 worth of tea and coffee.

plonkymiff: @Charliecondou free wi-fi and stuff your pockets with free biscuits!

Jasperbunny: @Charliecondou is that all you get? no snacks or treats? :O(

Charliecondou: I keep expecting to see Helen Worth, she's always in first class. I thought I just saw her, but it was another lady in a cashmere roll neck

Usztan: @Charliecondou Bum the arse off the free wi-fi.

Charliecondou: @Usztan what do you think I'm doing??

brianfruity: @Charliecondou do u get it on a Saturday and Sunday?

Charliecondou: @brianfruity get what?

brianfruity: @Charliecondou lol Free Tea and Coffee? Not the other

Charliecondou: @brianfruity haha

PixelDandy: @Charliecondou - the problem there is that A) it tastes awful & B) they see your type coming Mr Condou & make it too hot to drink quickly!

Charliecondou: @PixelDandy I've just asked for 7 cups of tea to take away

iamtonydenton: @Charliecondou hit the white wine lol x

PixelDandy: Good man @charliecondou. Beating the system!

Charliecondou: @PixelDandy hell yeah! You around for a cocktail next week?

PixelDandy: @Charliecondou - yes please that'd be great. Fire me an email. Also going to a launchy thing on Fri with Ivan if you're interested.

Charliecondou: @PixelDandy a launchy of whaty? DM me. Or text me for old school

TheGerwyn: @Charliecondou Nice free glass of Dutch wine?

Charliecondou: @TheGerwyn Luke warm weak coffee etc

Shmouise: @Charliecondou get stuck into the expensive crisps.

Charliecondou: @Shmouise I'm carb-loading sour cream & chive flavour pretzels

Shmouise: @Charliecondou grab some fruit too. Have you seen the price of apples?

Charliecondou: @Shmouise there is no fruit. I think the Hasidic man behind me has had it all away

___SammyB___: @Charliecondou my dad saw you on the train earlier. He wanted to know where you had come from and said you were wearing a lovely pink top!

Charliecondou: @___SammyB___ haha I had been in Hampshire with some mates and now heading to Manchester. The top is from Nicole Farhi

___SammyB___: @Charliecondou I'll be sure to let him know! Hope you had a lovely day!

GIMME GIMME GIMME – A PERVERT

DarrenCollier86: watching @Charliecondou 's episode of Gimme Gimme Gimme!! LOL-ing #NiceY-Fronts

Charliecondou: @DarrenCollier86 is that episode on every bloody day??

DarrenCollier86: @Charliecondou haha i've got the boxset

Charliecondou: @DarrenCollier86 pervert

DarrenCollier86: @Charliecondou thank god for pause and zoom! ;-)

ItsBoysie: @DarrenCollier86 @Charliecondou I was watching that the other day! The accent is fucking mint! Looool

Charliecondou: @ItsBoysie @DarrenCollier86 I was meant to be shit!!

LADIES WITH AN ATTITUDE

dreurovision: @Charliecondou Great article in @AttitudeMag - really enjoyed reading it! :)

Charliecondou: @dreurovision @AttitudeMag thanks very much x

LOUIE SPENCE GETS SHIRTY

louiespence: DOIG is on now ITV, let me know how it is I'm in Spain, the shirt is another @__UNCONDITIONAL

Charliecondou: @louiespence I do love an @__UNCONDITIONAL shirt

CHARLIE’S MAKE UP LADY IS FUMING

gillywalshy: Drunk much ??..

Charliecondou: @gillywalshy oh dear

gillywalshy: @Charliecondou I'm a disaster ...

Charliecondou: @gillywalshy are you going to be breathing beer fumes all over me tomorrow? Again

gillywalshy: @Charliecondou again ... Lol

VickyEntwistle: @Charliecondou @gillywalshy She always did over me. Sometimes I would cry & give her a copy of Watch Tower! X

A LITTLE TWEET

glitteryem: @Charliecondou I love your character In corrie. Can I have a little tweet back please xxxxx

Charliecondou: @glitteryem thanks xx

IF YOU MISSED THE REASON WHY CORRIE’S SEAN AND MARCUS SPLIT HERE IS A SET OF VIDEOS TO EXPLAIN...

THE CAUSE

Sean goes too far when he causes a scene with Marcus at work and a patient runs out.

THE EFFECT

In the fallout from their domestic problems Marcus and Sean make a heartbreaking decision.

THE FLOW ON
The people around Marcus and Sean have to come to terms with how to cope with their decision.

 TV's Biggest Blockbusters
Aired Sat 21 Jul, 20:35 - 22:30 ITV1 London

The most watched programmes in British television history

A countdown of the most watched programmes in British television history, revealing the top 10 in four categories - entertainment, live events, drama & soaps, and comedy. In recent years, England football matches, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's marriage ceremony and talent shows such as The X Factor have all attracted huge audiences, but back in the days of just four channels, there were some unexpected ratings smashes, with an episode of Neighbours reportedly pulling in more than 20 million viewers in 1990. William Roache (Coronation Street's Ken Barlow), Jean Boht (Nellie Boswell in Bread) and Anita Dobson (EastEnders' Angie Watts) are among the celebrities recalling the small screen's biggest hits.

Director: Chris Walley

Executive Producer: Will Smith

Producer: Chris Walley

Cast
Fay Ripley – Narrator

Charlie Condou - Contributor
Trevor McDonald - Contributor
Michael Aspel - Contributor
Melanie Sykes - Contributor
William Roache - Contributor
Anne Kirkbride - Contributor
Rufus Hound - Contributor
Zoe Lucker - Contributor
Anita Dobson - Contributor
Eamonn Holmes - Contributor
Jenny Eclair - Contributor
Kate Garraway - Contributor
Jim Rosenthal - Contributor
Ben Shephard - Contributor
Nicholas Parsons - Contributor
Jayne Torvill - Contributor
Christopher Dean - Contributor
Jennie Bond - Contributor
Peter Bowles - Contributor
Jean Boht - Contributor
Rob Rouse - Contributor
Sharon Marshall - Contributor
James Burke - Contributor
Robin Cousins - Contributor
Philip Franks - Contributor
Graham Poll - Contributor
Graham McCann - Contributor
Christopher Borrowdale - Contributor
Maureen Borrowdale - Contributor

SECRET SMILE DVD

(Telemovie 2005)

Secret Smile is a drama serial in two parts shown by ITV in December 2005, based on the Nicci French book of the same name.
Cast
 David Tennant, Claire Goose, Kate Ashfield, Rory Kinnear and Charlie Condou as “Lawrence.”

Storyline

What's the worst that can happen when a new romance goes wrong - you end up with a broken heart and put it down to experience? Not when self-styled entrepreneur Brendan Block is involved. He's not a man to let go easily - as Miranda Cotton finds out in this love and revenge thriller based on the bestselling Nicci French novel. Miranda puts the brief fling behind her, but Brendan is not finished with her yet. Three weeks later, her younger sister Kerry excitedly reveals she has a new boyfriend - Brendan Block. How far will Block go to get his revenge on Miranda? Convinced that Brendan is involved when people she loves begin turning up dead, Miranda realizes that the only way to beat her manipulative ex-lover is to turn the tables on him. Soon, she finds herself in a terrifying war of nerves with a master of the game. She has to prove he's a killer and she's prepared to risk her own life to do it.