LATER THAT DAY
AFTER CHARLIE’S 3RD INSTALMENT WAS PRINTED IN THE GUARDIAN
Charliecondou: @nikishisler Thanks Sis, Im happy to help you out with your writing anytime
yenyenteh: Well said Charlie x RT @Charliecondou: RT@guardianfamily: Two dads + one mum = one family. @CharlieCondou's column gu.com/p/32y8m
Charliecondou: @yenyenteh ta love xx
yenyenteh: @Charliecondou you're welcome. Hope all good with you? xxx
Charliecondou: @yenyenteh Yup, groovy ta. You ok?
yenyenteh: @Charliecondou yes all good. Still just getting over Ibiza...and becoming 40... x
Charliecondou: @yenyenteh I heard you all had a great time
Charliecondou: RT @guardianfamily: Two dads + one mum = one family. @CharlieCondou's column gu.com/p/32y8m
AndrewWalsh13: @guardianfamily @charliecondou shit joke.
Charliecondou: @AndrewWalsh13 Which joke?
AndrewWalsh13: @Charliecondou Two dads + one mum = one family.
ErikaTranfield: @Charliecondou Thank you Charlie for raising the profile4 gay dads,ur work is helping. @prideangel would very much like to highlight ur work
Charliecondou: @ErikaTranfield @prideangel Great, thanks x
emmagleave: it's now time to Chill !!! Really want to go out tonight but can't be bothered motivating myself !!
Charliecondou: @emmagleave Hello!
emmagleave: @Charliecondou Hi babe! How the devil are you !! xxxx
Charliecondou: @emmagleave Good! You ok? Sorry I missed your charity do, I was away. x
Charliecondou: @ClaudieBlakley Hello lovely x
annamac78: @charliecondou is that you from the wulvis family? I wrote to you when i was 14 you sent me a lovely letter back now where is the photo..?
Charliecondou: @annamac78 Haha that was me!
Charliecondou: RT @JOJEHARVEY: Next year I hope to see @francesbarber13 on Strictly doing her piece de resistance. The Slosh.
CHARLIE’S 3RD INSALMENT FOR THE GUARDIAN
R to L: Georgia, Catherine, Charlie Condou and Cameron. Photograph: Graham Turner for the Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk
22.10.2011
My partner Cam and I took Georgia, aged two, to the Alternative Families show, an amazing, uplifting annual event for gay and lesbian parents, as well as those who are hoping to become parents. There are seminars on everything from the legal aspects of using an American surrogate, to how to choose a gay parent-friendly school.
The first thing that strikes you at an event like this is how strange it feels to see so many male couples with kids. Obviously there were plenty of female couples too but, somehow, that doesn't stand out in quite the same way. We live in a world where seeing women, singly or in pairs or even in groups, with kids is no big deal.
Seeing a single man with children is pretty commonplace too, but seeing pairs of men with babies? It's only when you see lots of them, all together in the same place, that it really strikes you how unusual it is.
Gay issues aside, it says a lot about how we still automatically see women with kids as more "normal". So it was refreshing to be in an environment where we weren't the exception for once. Especially as we've just returned from a visit to Cam's tiny Canadian home-town where, on a visit to a playground, the local mothers had stared at us as though we had beamed in from another planet.
At one point during the show I nipped to the loo, only to find three blokes in there, each trying to change nappies on the toilet floor. It's a major frustration that you still almost never find baby-changing facilities in men's toilets.
I've lost count of the times I've been quietly ushered into the ladies loos by an embarrassed shop assistant to change Georgia.
Again, never mind the gay issue, we really need to do more to support all men in parenting. Babies don't magically stop crapping just because they're with their dad.
It was interesting that so many other gay parents assumed that Cam and I had used a surrogate. Strangely, people often find it hard to get their heads around us co-parenting with a friend. People assume that Catherine, Georgia's mum, used a sperm donor. For me, co-parenting was always the most obvious route to fatherhood, and I wonder that so few people even consider it. Indeed only today I read a magazine aimed at gay parents and the subject of co-parenting wasn't even mentioned.
Cam and I were approached by one couple who proudly told us that a surrogate was pregnant with their twins. They also commented that, on hearing their news, the first question that everyone asked was "which one of you is the father?"
This, of course, is a familiar question for same-sex parents where, naturally, there will always be a biological and a non-biological parent. It's a weird question, with its implication that bio is somehow more "real" than non-bio parenting (tell that to an adopted child).
Why is it so important to everyone? No one who sees us as a family could ever think that Cam was less of a father to Georgia than I am, or that he loves her less than I do.
The biological link is far from the most important aspect of being a parent. Indeed, with a lesbian couple we know who have split up, residence is with their non-bio mother as she has always been their main carer. So we stood around together, chatting about the absurdity and irrelevance of the "biological question" and then one of them turns to me and says: "Anyway, it doesn't matter in our case because we've fathered one twin each." I think we still have some way to go.
Above: Charlie Condou, Wendy Wason & Del Conboy
THIS WEEK'S RESPONSE TO CHARLIE’S ARTICLE
nitsohara: @Charliecondou great piece sir x
Charliecondou: @nitsohara Thanks love x
brilee84: @Charliecondou. Great article! @Charliecondou for president lol! YAY! X
Charliecondou: @brilee84 lol x
Murdoch1990: Everyone should follow - @Charliecondou - and read his brilliant column
Charliecondou: @Murdoch1990 Thanks x
CharleneWissett: @Charliecondou Again, lovely article. Keep them coming!
Charliecondou: @CharleneWissett I will!
MissOceania: @Charliecondou You're bang on the money again this week Charlie. Hopefully it won't take long for better parenting facilities for all :-)
Charliecondou: @MissOceania thank you!
Lucespeaking: @Charliecondou good column again Charlie :-) some spot on observations. Still a way to go by the very fact we need an AF show to begin with.
Charliecondou: @Lucespeaking absolutely right
liseylouangel: @Charliecondou Just read your article, it was fantastic. x
Charliecondou: @liseylouangel thank you x
AND IN OTHER NEWS
brianpaddick: Just wanted to clarify the latest scandal to hit the Met Police involving officer Boyling is unconnected with police tactic of kettling!
Charliecondou: @brianpaddick You're up early x
PaulPopplewell: Good morning sexy
Charliecondou: @PaulPopplewell Morning big boy
jacquie0007: Gotta get up, gotta get out, get up, get out, get up, get out!
Charliecondou: @jacquie0007 Are you quoting "Sweet Charity" or "Ride on Time"?
jacquie0007: @Charliecondou Why Sweet Charity of course. *tilts hat to a jaunty angle, clicks fingers, swans out*
Charliecondou: A belated #ff to an incredible charity @DiversityRM
Charliecondou: RT @Hemmo: Me & Dr Dukan: not the happiest of relationships. http://t.co/BYIjwDg5
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