Posted on 15 October 2011
http://www.indiacitys.com
So we’re having a boy.
So we’re having a boy. The 20-week scan was as unequivocal as a scan can be. In a few months, I will be the father of a son. Georgia will be two-and-a-bit when her yet-to-be-named brother is born – a nice, sensible age gap. Then that’s it for us, our family will be complete. I can say that with confidence because, obviously, for an IVF-dependent family such as mine there are no accidental “oops” children. This was always going to be the last baby, whatever the sex. Getting a boy and a girl was just a happy accident.
I practise thinking about “the kids” instead of just “my daughter”. It feels odd still and, weirdly, a bit pretentious. “Father of two”, “one of each”, “the kids” – it all sounds so real and grown up. For someone who wanted to be a dad for so many years, and who sometimes wondered if it would ever really happen, running these phrases through my head can feel surreal.
Amid all the joy and wonderment of fatherhood there is also, for me, a palpable sense of relief. Relief that I got here, that parenthood really did happen for me. I’ve got an amazing daughter already and a son on the way, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel grateful and blessed and aware that I have a responsibility to be the best dad I can be. I know how lucky I am to be a father, I just really don’t want to fuck it up.
When Georgia was due, I was worried about having a girl. I am, let’s be honest here, not overly familiar with “lady-parts”. She, like a lot of baby girls, had a sort of mini period (withdrawal bleeding from the maternal hormones) when she was born. No parent wants to see their newborn bleeding, but bleeding from there is especially alarming. Catherine had to reassure me that I could not hurt her with a cotton-wool ball and a bowl of tepid water. Now, several hundred shitty nappies later, I wonder what I was ever so nervous about. It seems ridiculous, even to me, but I can’t deny the way it was.
I was reminded of my anxiety last week as Catherine and I watched a friend change her baby boy’s nappy. As the friend expertly wiped poo off her son’s tiny testicles, Catherine turned to me and said “Are you ready for that?”
“Actually,” I said, “yes, I really am.” The thought of cleaning up boy bits didn’t faze me at all, but one glance at the slightly horrified look on Catherine’s face showed me that she was experiencing a similar wave of doubt and confusion to my pre-Georgia anxiety.
No, my fears about fathering a boy are very different. I look at the little boys I know and some of them are very, well, boyish. I am not that kind of a guy; I was never that kind of a guy. My friend Wendy’s son, Max, is a six-year-old rugby-playing tornado. Wendy’s partner, Stephen, has taken to helping coach Max’s team. They play football and fighting games; Max is made partly of mud. I did not play football or rugby as a child. I had dance lessons, I obsessed over The Kids from Fame. I liked sewing.
And then I remember – my son has another dad. Cam can do butch. He was a jock at high school, captain of the basketball and football teams. He’s also the DIY person in this family. Indeed, I couldn’t even work out how to remove the sides on Georgia’s cot in order to turn it into a “big-girl bed”, I had to wait for Cam to do it (screwdrivers perplex me). So he can provide all that boy stuff if necessary but, in any case, our son might prefer sewing.
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REPLIES TO ARTICLE
Usztan: @Charliecondou Congratulations! And a lovely article.
Charliecondou: @Usztan ta love x
JonobiWan: @Charliecondou Just read ur blog, 1st of all congrats on ur little boy & 2nd, u'll be an amazing dad no matter what! Don't be worried chum!!
Charliecondou: @JonobiWan Thanks x
Liam1709: @Charliecondou "screwdrivers perplex me" that made me giggle. N
Charliecondou: @Liam1709 it's true! I always " get a man in"
Liam1709: @Charliecondou let's be honest, it's the answer to everything!
ClareMariscal: @Charliecondou "Cam can do butch" - love it!
Charliecondou: @ClareMariscal you know it's true Clare!
pamjacko22: @Charliecondou congratulations Charlie enjoyed reading your blog and love you in Corrie x
Charliecondou: @pamjacko22 thank you
Eamonn_Forde: @Charliecondou AMAZING. Call it Eamonn Michael Jackson RIP Condou. PLEASE.
Charliecondou: @Eamonn_Forde Well obviously!
emilyaturner: @Charliecondou Great news! Lovely piece. "Max is made partly of mud" made me laugh @Wendy_Wason
Charliecondou: @emilyaturner @Wendy_Wason You know its true though
sarajcox: “@Charliecondou: So we're having a boy... http://t.co/CvgpfyiH” : ah...lovely x ..sewing haha very sweet x
Charliecondou: @sarajcox I was DESPERATE for a 'Girl's World' when I was a kid. Remember them? Like a massive decapitated Barbie head
Charliecondou: @sarajcox I love that all your tweets get retweeted by the 'I love Bolton' bot!
JameyOnline: @Charliecondou congratulations ... Superb article Charlie :)
Charliecondou: @JameyOnline Thanks Jamey
emilyaturner: @Charliecondou what you'll probably find is you'll have a boy who embraces dolls, princesses and pink because he'll want to please Georgia!
Charliecondou: @emilyaturner That is my DREAM
westbrookdanni: @Charliecondou congratulations .xxxx
Charliecondou: @westbrookdanni Cheers hon x
KerrShar: @Charliecondou Awww darling, congrats!! Your little family is now complete & Georgia is going to be a big sister!! When is bubba due?? X
Charliecondou: @KerrShar January!!
westbrookdanni: @Charliecondou have to say I love reading your column You've never changed always talk from the heart and 100% genuine . Xx
Charliecondou: @westbrookdanni xxx
tashdevmakeup: “@Charliecondou: So we're having a boy... http://t.co/Y45cFnQ5” love this!!
Charliecondou: @tashdevmakeup Cheers Tash x
Sharontweet: @Charliecondou lovely column. Congratulations to all of you xx
Charliecondou: @Sharontweet Thanks love, how's the new job ;-)
stuarthalton: @Charliecondou congrats. (Are they right?) X
Charliecondou: @stuarthalton I bloody hope so
Lucespeaking: @Charliecondou Articles like this help people realise how normal LGBT families are & will make my future journey all the easier.Thank You.
Charliecondou: @Lucespeaking you're very welcome! X
KerrShar: @Charliecondou ahh lovely! I'm due with my first on 9th Feb & @sarah_cawood is due beginning of April! It's an Angela & Friends baby boom :)
Charliecondou: @KerrShar hahaha congrats!!
ChadLDN: @Charliecondou Chad is an excellent name for a boy. Just sayin'. Congrats
Charliecondou: @ChadLDN It's a bit gay
sally_lindsay: @Charliecondou congratulations my love!! How wonderful x
Charliecondou: @sally_lindsay thanks lover x
TLeeLooLa: @Charliecondou love the new piece! Your writing is superb! Very proud! I get to London weds for a wk! Thinking night out Fri! X
Charliecondou: @TLeeLooLa YESSSSSS!!!
Lucespeaking: @Charliecondou p.s. My partner is gutted Catherine was there 1st as otherwise she'd be knocking you door saying how about we have kids!
Charliecondou: @Lucespeaking lol
shebahronay: @Charliecondou You've clearly been secretly writing columns for years. So good! X
Charliecondou: @shebahronay xxx
quarterbluematt: Another great article by @Charliecondou in today's Guardian !
Charliecondou: @quarterbluematt thanks mattonthedesk
quarterbluematt: @Charliecondou it's alright Charlieonthetelly (andinthenewspaper) are you doing it each week? Last weeks was really good too !
Charliecondou: @quarterbluematt I am indeed
FROG STOMP
edibow: @Charliecondou he is as always spectacular. naked for most of it, so i would suggest attend with caution.. or not, ha ha ha.
Charliecondou: @edibow Fantastic! I shall attend with caution. And Kleenex
A MUSE ME
PaulBurston: Up early and heading off to the gym. Later today I'm sitting for a portrait. Yes, another one! Artist's muse, me.
Charliecondou: @PaulBurston I thought Beryl Cook was dead??
PaulBurston: @Charliecondou cheeky blighter! It's this chap http://t.co/waJK2cY2
Charliecondou: @PaulBurston Ooooh, lovely stuff! Is it a nude?
PaulBurston: @Charliecondou we haven't discussed that yet! I'm rather hoping not! I may get a reputation
Charliecondou: By the way, it's @wendy_wason and @stephen_hagan I mention in the column. But dont follow them, they're idiots
Charliecondou: Georgia and Betsy are taking me and @denise_vanouten for a playdate today. I hope I dont get over tired and play up. Im at that funny age
Tom_In_Oz_: @Charliecondou HMMM the terrible 2s? Not a good time in one's parenting life...having both a girl and boy can I reassure you the boy version of that was easier to cope with !!!
whitenosugartv: @Charliecondou waiting for my train to depart, thought I'd have a read, made me smile and put me in a good mood for the rest of my journey
Charliecondou: @whitenosugartv cheers dude x
msm4rsh: @Charliecondou fantastic article charl AGAIN!! Laughed out loud too x
Charliecondou: @msm4rsh Cheers baby, you still up for dinner on the 24th??
Derren_Litten: RT “@Charliecondou: So we're having a boy... http://t.co/9nwbqbIp”. Congrats amigo! X
Charliecondou: @Derren_Litten Thank you dear heart x
Charliecondou: Very sad to hear our wonderful Betty Driver has passed away. A true Corrie legend. She will be missed #ripbetty
Tom_In_Oz_: @Charliecondou A legend known around the world was Betty Driver of Coronation Street .
SineadKeenan: RIP Betty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Charliecondou: Possibly the funniest British comedy ever made! comedycentral.co.uk/shows/threesom…
Charliecondou: This made me smile. RIP lovely lady
jedessex: @Charliecondou Hi Charlie. You were following my old account - can you follow this one?
Charliecondou: @jedessex Certainly handsome x
jedessex: @Charliecondou Me handsome? Your the corrie star I'm secretly (not so secret now) in love with :P x how are you? x
Charliecondou: @jedessex Lol very well ta x
jedessex: @Charliecondou Good and you have a gorgeous doctor boyfriend! jealous!! any plans to tie the knot?
PrincessJulia__: The XFactor fancy dress competition continues apace at the George & dragon live & direct this evening @simonpreen @louisByrnexx
Charliecondou: @PrincessJulia__ Ello lover xxx
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felixhoward: Loveable=jolly= #XFactor
Charliecondou: @felixhoward snap!
Charliecondou: Janet really needs to sort out those varicose veins
Charliecondou: Oh Frankie, cocock off!
Charliecondou: Why is Tulisa wearing a burst tyre?
benlathamjones: @Charliecondou couldn't agree more... Isn't this fun... And loved your article today matey...
Charliecondou: @benlathamjones ta love x
Charliecondou: My god, it's the cowardly lion!
Lynsayp: @Charliecondou put em up!
Charliecondou: @Lynsayp haha
Charliecondou: @surandickson tee hee
JOJEHARVEY: I really want one of her boobs to pop out.
Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY haha Cam just said that!
JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou we communicate telepathically.
Charliecondou: @JOJEHARVEY you are well witchy guy
JOJEHARVEY: @Charliecondou I is well hubble bubble boil and trouble and shiz
djy12345: Tulisa can relate to you because she can't sing either. #xfactor
Charliecondou: @djy12345 haha
BenSummerskill: @Charliecondou Hey Mr thanks v happy to help with any background stats or case studies etc. Do call VBW to y'all xBen
Charliecondou: @BenSummerskill Thanks Ben, I'm in touch with Emma, she's being great and giving me lots of info. I'll send it to you when it's done x
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