CHARLIE CONDOU - No.542

JACKED OFF

JackPShepherd88: So no trains or planes to Manchester tonight from Edinburgh, looks like I'm staying here for the night. Time for some Me time. . .

Charliecondou: @JackPShepherd88 hahaha we all know what me time means jack

JackPShepherd88: @Charliecondou: haha

Charliecondou: @JackPShepherd88 I liked our scene the other day. I reckon David is going to be Marcus' next conquest

JackPShepherd88: @Charliecondou: ❤❤❤

MissCharleyWebb: @JackPShepherd88 Who's your favourite Emmerdale character ;-)

Charliecondou: @MissCharleyWebb @JackPShepherd88 Amos (is there one called Amos?)

MissCharleyWebb: @Charliecondou @jackpshepherd88 There wasss! Well done! X

Charliecondou: @MissCharleyWebb @jackpshepherd88 yep, Amos. She was my favourite

JackPShepherd88: RT @BebekLJM: @JackPShepherd88 what is the best car in the world.. <<< dodge Charger or DB5 or A old mustang or an merc SLS x

Charliecondou: @JackPShepherd88 who makes the best tea in the green room?

JackPShepherd88: @Charliecondou <<< not Fu%#ing You!

Susan_Hill77: @JackPShepherd88 who is the brainiest member of the Corry cast?

JackPShepherd88: @Susan_Hill77 Craig Charles

Charliecondou: @JackPShepherd88  Oi!!!

SLAGGED OFF

Wendy_Wason: Saying "Bless her" after you've slagged someone off doesn't cancel out the bitch.

Charliecondou: @Wendy_Wason is that a note to self?

Wendy_Wason: @Charliecondou I commit to my bitching Condou. Have I ever said "Bless her"?

Charliecondou: @Wendy_Wason 'fuck her' more likely

Wendy_Wason: @Charliecondou indeed.

THE GAYEST X FACTOR EVAH

Charliecondou: RT @RyanJohnNelson: The Saturday night showdown between #scd and #xfactor has come down to the question, "Which has more filler: #strictly or Rylan's face?"

lawriejordan: I have no interest #xfactor

Charliecondou: @lawriejordan ditto

Charliecondou: So one of Union J is gay. Really? Just one??

Charliecondou: I was going to make a joke about Louis being gay and in Union J but I won't

BenSummerskill: @Charliecondou You're a very naughty boy!

Charliecondou: @BenSummerskill so is Louis. Allegedly

mouthwaite: @Charliecondou: Gotta be at least 2 prob 3

Charliecondou: @mouthwaite one of them is verging on tranny! 

mouthwaite: @Charliecondou: Vampire tranny?

Charliecondou: @mouthwaite indeed

easily_led: @Charliecondou Someone needs to tell JJ in #UnionJ that his handkerchief habit (hanging from pocket) has codes. This weeks = Fist Me. : /

‏Charliecondou: @easily_led hahaha

claker69: @Charliecondou The only two people in this years #xfactor not to sck cock are Dermott and Tulisa

Charliecondou: @claker69 HAHAHAHA

Frank_Strachan: @ChrisMaloney77 performs the first song wearing @FC_Man suit, with @nextofficial shirt and @herringshoes shioes.@XFACTORSTYLE

Charliecondou: @Frank_Strachan I want grey jeans like the one in Union J. Not Josh, the gay one or Harry Styles lite.The one in the black leather jacket

Frank_Strachan: @Charliecondou get yourself to @TopmanUK spray on skinny mate ;-)

Charliecondou: @Frank_Strachan @TopmanUK marvellous, thanks. I can totally pull them off by the way #nearlyforty

Charliecondou: RT @LeeBinding: DON'T SHOW THE MUM HAIR DON'T SHOW THE MUM HAIR DON'T SHOW THE MUM HAIR DON'T SHOW THE MUM HAIR DON'T SHOW THE MUM HAIR #xfactor

LeeBinding: Gary: "Get out your seats, its Christopher Maloney!" ...and go home?#xfactor

Charliecondou: @LeeBinding Christopher Maloney - a nation of nans finger themselves

LeeBinding: @Charliecondou CHARLES! You and your potty mouth!

DameStephen: @Charliecondou @leebinding this is such a disturbing tweet! But astonishingly accurate. #eww

Charliecondou: @DameStephen @leebinding I speak only truths PH

DameStephen: @Charliecondou that's it. I've changed my Twitter bio ;)

YOU CAN TELL HOW OLD BY ITS RINGS

FayRipley: Off to a big Gay’s 50th bday. Very pleased with his pressie. A 1962 copy of 'The Ring' it's a boxing mag but making me giggle.

Charliecondou: @FayRipley oh fay

FayRipley: @Charliecondou surely you have your own Ring ?

Charliecondou: @FayRipley yes, mine doesn't date back that far though

FayRipley: @Charliecondou but perhaps looks like it does .....

Charliecondou: @FayRipley it's been well thumbed

X-MAS WOOD + U.S. PORN STARS

Charliecondou: Where can I get a good fake Christmas tree?

quantick: @Charliecondou Fake Norway is best.

Charliecondou: @quantick I'm heading there now on my fake jet

quantick: @disabilitydiva @charliecondou well we've all achieved something good today. Give yourselves a fake pat on the back.

disabilitydiva: @quantick @charliecondou *fakecurtsies*

Charliecondou: @disabilitydiva do you live in islington?

disabilitydiva: @Charliecondou Yes! Just off Exmouth Mkt. Will def say hi next time I spot you on route to Caravan ;)

Charliecondou: @disabilitydiva hahahaha yes it's our brekkie hangout. X 

disabilitydiva: @Charliecondou that's how I'm gonna refer to my wheelchair from now on ;)

Charliecondou: @disabilitydiva not great for our double buggy though, it gets too bloody packed

disabilitydiva: @Charliecondou  It's good isn't it. Great food, and fab staff. They got a portable ramp within weeks of opening, unlike their predecessors!

‏disabilitydiva: @Charliecondou I know. I rarely go on a Sunday morning for same reason :( 

themaverickmen: @charliecondou http://t.co/piZXZgMK boom!

Charliecondou: @themaverickmen amazing! I'll move to the US immediately

themaverickmen: @charliecondou don't tease 

Charliecondou: @themaverickmen ;-) 

themaverickmen: @charliecondou xo :)

Tomster72: @themaverickmen @Charliecondou oh get a room you lot (then film it) #CherryPopped

heawood: @Charliecondou Let me know if you get a good answer. I need a babyproof one too.

Charliecondou: @heawood so do I! Argos, b&q and John Lewis most popular so far

hinstreatham: @Charliecondou @heawood Heal's sell nice ones if you want it to look real. 

Charliecondou: @hinstreatham @heawood This woman has too much money Soph

heawood: @Charliecondou Right. Either getting a fake one from there or putting a real one on a high table??

hinstreatham: @Charliecondou @heawood they're only £100!!!

Charliecondou: @hinstreatham @heawood oh. That's quite good

heawood: @Charliecondou @hinstreatham If you can make it last five years... 20 quid a year... oh but wait I'm having my child adopted before then.

OUTSOURCED NOURISHMENT

czyzselska: Best miso and mushroom ramen ever @tonkotsulondon. If you haven't been yet, you're missing out

Charliecondou: @czyzselska @tonkotsulondon I went last week. Amazing

tonkotsulondon: @Charliecondou Thanks, Charlie. Thought that was you - recognised you from DRM carnival.

Charliecondou: @tonkotsulondon ah yes, that was a great night x

LITTLE MISS

Charliecondou: Just sent my 3 year old downstairs to get something. This is massive. I just need to teach her to make tea and it'll all have been worth it

iKyle1972: @Charliecondou child labour! ;) don't forget the biscuits

NigelKitchen: @Charliecondou My eldest daughter is 3, it's amazing what she can do. She knows how to operate my iPhone, even the app store!

Confidential_CC: @Charliecondou granddaughter is now solving puzzles on iPhone apps for littlies - tried the burst the balloon one myself - she beat me! 

Brendan_Surrey: @Charliecondou When The Terrible Twos move on to the Thoughtful and Eager to Please Threes.

Charliecondou: Scrap that. I went to find her after 10 mins. She was pulling things out of all the cupboards and drawing on everything

sallyrandall: @Charliecondou When number one child can read you must train her to do number two child's bedtime for you. Essential parenting efficiency.

Charliecondou: @sallyrandall amazing

SOME PORE ADVICE

LukeMorrison: So far @toddlerlex has been in the changing rooms for 25 minutes. A good ten minutes longer than anyone else.

toddlerlex: @LukeMorrison and that 10 minutes, is why I'm the pretty one

Charliecondou: @toddlerlex @LukeMorrison hahaha

LukeMorrison: @Charliecondou @toddlerlex well, if you need that extra time to look pretty... Some of us are natural...

Charliecondou: @LukeMorrison @toddlerlex is he still in there?? Because there's a fine line between "towelling off" and "fluffing"

toddlerlex: @Charliecondou @lukemorrison a) I was shaving b) private changing rooms Charlie, I'm not at one of your "men's health clubs"

Charliecondou: @toddlerlex @lukemorrison I go to those places because the steam is good for my pores!!!

LukeMorrison: @Charliecondou @toddlerlex ... And you like a nice facial?

Charliecondou: @LukeMorrison @toddlerlex exactly. Oh.

YOUR “PIECE”

Charliecondou: @alicearnold1 Your piece in the Guardian is BRILLIANT!! Well done you. And well done to Hazel for being a national treasure xxx

Charliecondou: RT @alicearnold1 - My national treasure http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/nov/24/alice-arnold-life-with-clare-balding

TRAIN

rpenryj: Nightmare train journey to twicks

Charliecondou: @rpenryj is that you in the wooly hat?

rpenryj: @Charliecondou no the fingerless gloves. How are you mate?

Charliecondou: @rpenryj I'm good actually, busy but good. You ok? And D and the kids??

rpenryj: @Charliecondou yes all good. Let us know when you are down are way

Charliecondou: @rpenryj deffo x

TRUST VOLUNTEER

Charliecondou: RT @AlbertKennedyTr: Any volunteers in Manchester up for supporting the fundraiser in NYNY tmrw night from 6pm? drop darren@akt.org.uk an email #volunteerlove

Above and below: Charlie Condou at ITV Studios Manchester in the Summer of 2012. This is another set of promo shots that have not be used previously for publicity purposes.

*From Tom's secret stash*

#F_O_L_L_O_W__F_R_I_D_A_Y

Dear blog reader,

As you know in this busy world hardly anybody stops to say 'hi' or chat, especially to the old or infirmed. Now, that I am a retiree, I will probably lose contact with more and more people. It's nice to have a few friends on Twitter who can take the time to still catch up with their #Follow_Friday wishes. Some of the following people have known me on Twitter for 4 years or more and still continue to catch up when they can.
*BestImaginaryFriendsEvah*

BienSoeur:  #Corrie fans do #FF this perfect posse @Confidential_CC @ChasCondouFans @charlieCondou

joooos1: #FF  @SirThomasWynne (Formerly known as Tom in Oz :-) )

Dudes4Dudes: #FF :))  @Confidential_CC

snowflakemummy: @Confidential_CC :0 #FF giggles !!

Shum65: #FF me lovely matey here  > @Confidential_CC Hiya dude XxX :)

MarkMMerrett: Closest friends  #FF @TMarkstahler @rudehamster @SirThomasWynne @Confidential_CC  @demelza2  @Jonesyinc1 @badjonesyinc @WhoGuru  @Jonesyinc

positivelyscoob: It’s a very Thanksgiving  #FF @Confidential_CC

LizzyxRose: #FF @Confidential_CC @Tom_In_Oz_

austen_james #ff  love and @Confidential_CC

dk398862: #ff @Confidential_CC

drewdriverxxx: #ff @ChasCondouFans @Wolfie_Rankin @Keza12345  @DamienOz

mabelalexa: #FF @bonaaar @AWOLTom

michaelbosc: #FF @SirThomasWynne hope you’re on the mend my friend x

ViscountLeighto: RT @BienSoeur: #Corrie fans do #FF this perfect posse @Confidential_CC @ChasCondouFans @charlieCondou

TOM'S HOME TOWN AND FAMILY

The picture below comes from my home town of Newcastle NSW Australia. The shorter tower with a tidal sphere and clock is part of Customs House. It was where my ancestor William Ahern worked 1857-1896. He ran away to sea from Blackrock Cork Ireland at about age 12 and landed in Sydney where he slowly worked his way up to being a Customs Officer and Coxswain of the Victoria Lifeboat. He saved hundreds of lives in his 20 year span as a lifeboat officer and also fought for improved rights and pay. He was a staunch trade union man.

Below: This is what Custom's House looked like when William Ahern worked there.

Below: One of my cousins-in-law was Eddie Charlton who used to feature on the UK TV show Pot Black when I was a small child. He heralded from Newcastle Australia. His first wife Gloria Charlton and their children are my cousins.